Love is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends by Tim Sanders was recommended to me by a friend and mentor as a resource on networking. In this book, Sanders lays out a detailed guide on how to become a "lovecat". A lovecat is someone who freely shares his or her knowledge, network, and compassion with others. In each section of the book, Sanders clearly explains how to develop, convey, and dispense each of these three intangibles that are he argues are the keys to business relationships and success.
By knowledge, Sanders means "everything you have learned and everything you continue to learn" (Page 13). In the book, Sanders mentions over 25 different books that he's read and shared with others. He advocates reading as much as you can and really internalizing the messages of the books you read. He provides several tips for finding books to read (ask people, look for key words that apply to your job or interests, look at book lists in business magazines, try different topics every now and then), processing the message (be an active reader and make notes as you read, review previous sections as you go, summarize the overall message, take the time to look back over your notes), and applying your knowledge (share it with others, listen for people's problems and think about what book you might be able to "prescribe" (Page 102) that could help them, think about specific people who might benefit from a book you've read, think back to situations in which a book you've read could have been applied, send someone a copy of a book you've recommended and ask for their feedback/opinion). "The ability to transfer knowledge is a huge advantage...to succeed in the new economy" (Page 110).
Your network is "your entire web of relationships" (Page 15), and Sanders lays out a systematic way to build and connect your network. Before you start collecting names, you must devise a system to organize and store your contacts. Sanders recommends a few different software solutions for storing contact information and also suggests adding a notes section to each contact in which you can store previous discussion topics and key bits of information. He recommends creating categories of different people within your organized system. To maintain this system Sanders reminds us that you must diligently add in the information of people you meet and keep up with them (follow-up). After collecting your contacts and putting them into an easily accessible system, you can start to connect them to each other - this is the sharing part. To share you contacts and connect them to one another Sanders lays out three steps. First, you should listen for what people need and what they have to offer, then you can align your contacts. Second, be an active participant in the connection, set up the introduction and sell your contact to the person you're connecting them with. Finally, only remain active in the relationship until it can survive alone - don't ask for anything in return for setting up the connection; simply set it up, make sure everyone has what they need and then bow out. Sanders closes his section on networking by reminding the reader of "Metcalf's Law: The value of a network grows in proportion to the square of the number of users, which means that once a network achieves a certain size, it becomes almost irresistibly attractive" (Page 143).
The final focus of Sanders book is compassion: "the human ability to reach out with warmth" (Page 17). In this section, Sanders first lays out the many benefits of compassion in business: you can make a difference, it leads to better experiences, people will remember you, it creates commitment and can buy forgiveness, and it creates long relationships. He then details a two-part process for building and sharing your compassion: sensing and expressing. Sensing involves observing others' behavior and being aware of when it's appropriate to bring in compassion. Expressing is sharing your compassion through eye contact, smiling, encouragement and warm words, and hugging (which Sanders does impress takes time and great attention to get right - he definitely doesn't advocate hugging everyone right away). Sanders' final part of the compassion section details the insertion points for compassion, specifically in salutations, conversations and short encounters. In all of these, he recommends sharing your desire to help the other person in their success and focusing on and committing to the happiness of and benefits to the other person. He also suggests saying the other person's name and really listening to what they have to say. Sanders highlights the fact that rejection will occur when extending your compassion but that the most important thing is to self-evaluate those situations and learn from them for next time. "When you show compassion, you help others become more compassionate; your help them be the best they can be" (Page 193).
Sanders' book has given me great insight into developing my own business presence and value. His guidance and practical tips are easily applicable and something you can act on immediately. It takes time to build up a knowledge library, but Sanders provides an extensive list of books to read and explore along with practical advice on how to get the most from your study. I appreciated his networking suggestions, and linked with compassion and knowledge, they provide a powerful set of principles from which anyone can become a "lovecat" and reap the rewards of sharing with others and developing professionally along the way. Through implementation of Sanders' "lovecat" principles, you can become a valued source of information, gain influence and add value to those around you, and share your generosity with others. In the afterword, Sanders mentions a phrase he responds with when asked about success: "Nice, smart people succeed" (Page 195); this message definitely resonated with me as I read the book.
Have you read Love is the Killer App? What did you think?
Sanders, Tim. Love Is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends. New York: Crown Business, 2002. Print.
