Review: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

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Never Eat Alone and Other Secrets to Success One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi with Tahl Raz is all about networking and how to successfully build relationships and maintain connections. It contains a ton of great information and tips and was another great recommendation from one of my mentors. 

The book is divided into four sections and details techniques on how to find people to meet, how to connect with them, and how to build relationships. Each section contains profiles of some very successful connectors who demonstrate the techniques in action - Bill Clinton, Paul Revere, the Dalai Lama, and Eleanor Roosevelt, to name a few. Throughout the book, Ferrazzi inserts anecdotes and examples from his own life on how the presented techniques have made him successful and a master relationship builder.

The first section provides an overview of the importance of relationships to your success and details the initial steps to building your network. Ferrazzi emphasizes that generosity is key and that you should ask what you can do for others and give before you receive in order to create meaningful relationships in which you have mutually beneficial connections. He also lays out a system of goal setting in order to provide a direction and differentiate yourself from others. The system involves finding your passions and your dream; creating a "Relationship Action Plan" (Page 30); and forming a group of people who can support you, provide guidance, and keep you accountable. Finally, he says, "you're only as good as what your give away" (Page 59), and stresses that you should be respectful to everyone, transparent, and not too efficient in your quest to build a network.

The second, and largest, section of the book dives into the skills you need to be a successful networker. First, you need to know who you want to meet. Once you have established your action plan and goals, you can find people that align with your aspirations and put them on your list of people to meet. Ferrazzi recommends looking at rankings of people in magazines and newspapers to find people to add to your list. You can also make a list of "aspirational contacts" (Page 77): high-level, successful, and interesting people you would like to meet someday. Now that you have your list, it's time to research those people and find out their interests, accomplishments, and passions so that you have something to talk about with them and maybe some ideas of ways you could help them. Ferrazzi dedicates a whole chapter to how to make a successful cold call to a person you want to meet but don't yet know; it includes some really useful tips about bringing value and how to suggest a potential meeting. Another chapter details how to become a "conference commando" (Page 110): help the organizer, be a speaker, know where to find a good restaurant, make deep connections and secure follow-ups, and make sure you actually follow-up and do so quickly, to name a few of the tips in this information-filled chapter. Once you've established some connections with people, you need to maintain those relationships, and Ferrazzi emphasizes the importance of following-up within 12 to 24 hours of meeting someone and then keeping up that communication every month by providing relevant and helpful information to the members of your network. Another way of meeting people that Ferrazzi suggests is to connect with "super-connectors" (Page 128), these are people who know a lot of other people: restauranteurs, lobbyists, headhunters, politicians, PR people, and journalists. If you have a positive, supportive, and mutually beneficial relationship with these "super-connectors," then you will have access to their extensive networks as well. You can also connect your network with someone else's by jointly hosting events, such as a dinner party. In doing so, you are expanding everyone's circle; however, Ferrazzi notes that mutual benefit and trust are key in hosting joint events and sharing networks. The second section closes with a chapter on how to master small talk with tips such as making positive nonverbal cues, being sincere and having something interesting to talk about, making the other person feel special and valuable, listening and seeking to understand, and securing another meeting before making a graceful exit.

The third section covers techniques on how to gain loyalty and deepen your connections. Overall, Ferrazzi says that loyal and deep connections come from helping others realize their desires, recognizing their importance, making others successful, and helping to solve a problem related to someone's health, wealth, or children. He suggests that when someone mentions a problem, you should start thinking of a solution - don't wait to be asked, connect them with someone who can help or share knowledge or a book that provides insight. You should know people from as many different areas as possible and then connect them to one another and share your knowledge, connections, and generosity (sounds familiar, no? A lot like Love is the Killer App). Ferrazzi reminds us to  to deepen and maintain our connections by regularly contacting and sending relevant articles and information to the people in our network. The final chapter in this section covers the art of a good dinner party and how to bring people from within and outside your network together over a meal - it's incredibly useful and has many good suggestions on how to set the stage and who to invite.

The last section of Never Eat Alone provides guidance for developing and broadcasting your personal brand as well as suggestions on how to gain visibility and expertise. Ferrazzi lays out tips for becoming an expert, including staying on the cutting edge of information and technology and developing a niche for yourself and your knowledge. He also suggests becoming a "content creator" (Page 212) by developing your own unique views and ideas and spreading them to others through speaking, writing, and teaching. From there, he highlights ways to create and share your brand: what is it that you do that adds value? What is your distinct identity, compelling message, and attraction for others? You can develop your personal branding message by identifying your uniqueness, words you want people to associate with you, and your passions and skills. Ferrazzi recommends you think about how you want to be seen by others. He then provides tips on how to broadcast your brand through local papers and alumni publications and by building relationships with journalists. The last few chapters of this section cover more ways to gain visibility and support your network. First, Ferrazzi suggests writing articles, which will also broadcast your expertise and expand your network. Second, he recommends joining organizations related to your interests and goals and becoming a leader in those organizations. If an organization that aligns with your desires doesn't exist, start one - then you will automatically be a leader and can expand your network and visibility by growing the organization. Finally, he places great emphasis on mentoring, both finding mentors at all levels and looking for mentees. 

Never Eat Alone is a powerful guide to networking, filled with valuable tips and techniques on all aspects of building, developing, and maintaining a vast network that will lead you and others to success. The book emphasizes the importance of getting involved, putting your entire self into networking, being generous and vulnerable in your relationships, and developing yourself and others through your connections. It contains relatable personal stories from Ferrazzi's own experience that highlight the value of the techniques suggested throughout the sections. Although many of Ferrazzi's stories and suggestions are quite bold, I would highly recommend Never Eat Alone to anyone who is interested in learning more about how to network and how to successfully develop mutually beneficial, long-term relationships. 

Have you read Never Eat Alone? What are your thoughts on networking?

Ferrazzi, Keith, and Tahl Raz. Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Succes, One Relationship at a Time. New York: Currency Doubleday, 2005. Print.